Evil DVR

World's Worst invention: Tivo/DVR

Many have come before and others are sure to follow but the current generation of technology is spawning many an issue for the world at large. Stuck in traffic? Blame the soccer mom who now has time to cart her kids all around town never worried about missing a second of her favorite shows as she can simply record them and view them later.
Consider all of the college kids living large on mommy and daddy's money who have time to go protest the war on bugs, furnace reduction, 10 commandments placed on church steps, Ronald Regan awareness days blah blah blah. Now they can go off on whichever trendy crusade will look best on a resume while never scared for a second of missing the rantings of Limbaugh, O'Reily or Coulter.
You never have to worry about the way you take three hours to decide which bottom shelf rum to mix with your coke or how your hook-up always offers a free round of smoke when you buy. You can watch adult swim later.
And think, after you dissapoint your woman in bed lasting a mere 8 minutes quickly followed by sleep, no need to fret missing the game. You recorded it. And get this, you can't put yourself in the dog house by recording over the wedding video anymore. Sure, you might record over some trashy bridal show which your woman watches to live vicariously through the bitchiness of some hell-raising bridezilla, but you can always make up for it by recording some chick flick and blazing through the commercials.
This little fact suggsts to me that DVR technology was invented by men. I know the streoetype, (or is it a fact) that dudes are more involved in the sciences, thus inventions happen with a great deal more ease for the gents than the gals, but so what. So not only are we dealing wioth a piece of machinery built to give folks more time to dilly-dally but it would seem it is also designed to further the peen-ocracy.
Feminist as it may sound, thus far, consider, if you will, the reasons people, such as yourself, watch television. Sports. Ninja movies. News. Weekly programs, including but not limited to: sitcoms, reality programming and shows that you don't think fit into one of those two categories but actually do because you're being to specific whilest I, the writer of this great debate am going for broader labels (suck it.) Think of what happens if you don't watch the news...oh, wait, get it from a paper or from the computer. Same your weekly brain burning batch of shows. Ninja movies? Well, you have friends with netflicks who can just burn them and give them to you by the dozen so those beer and pizza bro-fests you call men's night won't ever run short of testosterone or pepperoni. Which leaves sports. Yeah, you can get highlights on ESPN. You can get scores on the web. You might even catch a game being replayed on some channel, but who wants to watch the greatest uypset of all time two months after the fact?
Guys invented DVR so they could do other stuff and not worry about missing a chance to grunt at the screen like apes.
I suppose one could record those softcore porn flicks from the movie channels at night, but guys, that's sad. Get a plant or something, phone a friend, maybe buy a Cosmo but for crying out loud have higher standards than simulated sex on skinamax and showtime. Sigh. Just sad.
In conclusion, I gotta go, I missed Important things with Dimitri Martin on Wednesday and I need to watch it before the dvr is full.