The Bear: Fact or Fiction?

"The bear went over the mountain." No one questions this. Bears are notorious for going over mountains as well as through streams. Seldom do we see bears caught in the glitz and glamour of Hollywood or basking in the repeating flashbulbs of the paparazzi.
Next we are told that the reason the bear went over this mountain is "to see what he could see." Again, no problems here. Any number of animals and people alike have found themselves traveling aimlessly both through the world as well as the world-wide-web for no good reason; simply to see what there is to be seen. Bears do not have the Internet because they cannot afford it because they cannot get jobs. I know you're thinking, but what about bears in zoos? Those bears work for room and board. Nothing more. At the all zoo Christmas party they drink for free. That is the life of a zoo bear. And Smokey is a fictional character created by conservationists to scare children away from forest fires toward the temptation of arson in the city. So bears don't have the Internet and therefore must travel the world, typically over mountains, for no better reason than to see what there is to see.
The real trouble starts when we are informed of the Bear's findings; "The other side of the mountain was all that he could see." I smell conspiracy.
First of all, not a single bear or person has ever confirmed the other side of the mountain. Perhaps it was the other side of the mountain being viewed, but that leads me to question, just what was on this other side?
Could it have been a mysterious series of glyphs left by an alien race? Instructions for any who could decipher the script. A recipe for disaster or greatness? We may never know because the government doesn't want us to know. Suppose this mountain in question happens to be in the state of New Mexico...near a place by the name of Roswell. Maybe you've heard of it? The bear could have seen the crash site of what some believe to be an extraterrestrial craft. Witness3es to that sort of event end up disappearing or being discredited. So I ask you, when did you last see the bear who went over the mountain? Hmmm.
Geography is the variable of greatest importance in this puzzle. If the mountain from the song is farther south then other "fables" are possible. For instance, the Fountain of Youth, the lost City of Gold, the body of Jimmy Hoffa. As exciting as any of these discoveries would be do you really think the people in power would allow a bear to accept credit for such a discovery. Not after the hours and years that people have poured into unearthing such secrets.
Secrets such as the Sasquatch or Yeti cannot be ruled out either if for no other reason than the unconfirmed existence of such species. Yetis, also known as abominable snowmen, are rumored to live in the mountains of Southern Asia. Those snowmen may be abominable but if discovered think of the trouble: constant traffic from tourism and media, the talk show circuit, rumors and rampages, celebrity dating fiascos, and dare I say grill endorsements?
On the other hand, the Sasquatch is perhaps the Paris Hilton of the fabled beast circuit. Always popping up for inappropriate photographs. If this is an accurate depiction of the animals true nature then it would also be possible that the other side of the mountain held romance for the bear. Upon discovering a lonely Sasquatch the bear fell in love and ran off with the ape-ish creature. To cover up her husband's disappearance the wife of the mountain crossing bear told friends and family that he saw the other side of the mountain. Three days later an unidentified bear body was found in a nearby stream. The case was ruled a suicide by most, but is it really a cover-up?
Perhaps that is the real story; a disappointed wife. No one has ever failed so hard as the bear who went over the mountain. He found nothing. Learned nothing. He is a fool. Others, the Big Bad Wolf, for example, despite being caught, managed to destroy two houses and send two pigs into years of therapy while single handedly creating no less than three hundred jobs for contractors annually. Jack jumped over a candlestick not to mention all of the beanstalk business. His farming techniques have proven top be nothing short of miraculous. A simple demonstration of physics or not, the elephant Dumbo could fly. Lest we forget the Lazarus-shaming amount and quality of resurrections at the hands of Daffy Duck. Not even Curtis "Fifty Cent" Jackson could receive so many gunshots to the face and live to rhyme about it. In comparison, the other side of the mountain is about as impressive as...as... come to think of it, not a single thing in the world is as unimpressive as discovering the other side of the mountain. This of course only makes the case against the Bear's wife stronger.
Who knows what really happened after the bear went over the mountain. The HeAP believes that someone knows something, and until these unbearable facts are brought into the light, this enigma will remain wrapped inside the conundrum of a mystery.